Halitosis hoax

I once saw an ad that read, "Only the dentist can tell you if you have bad breath." Now, who are the ad wizards who came up with that one?

Some dentist, hurting for patients, must have made it up. How accurate would his "diagnosis" really be? Most people pop a breath mint (at the very least) before they make a visit.

Regardless, I can assure you he's not the only one capable of making the call. Your brother, sister, or spouse will not hesitate to ask you: "Have you been eating rotten fish again?"

No one wants to stink, but there are some people who are downright paranoid about it, thinking they have bad breath when they actually don't. Researchers at Tel Aviv University in Israel decided to tackle this smelly issue and concluded that some people have a "self-image" problem. (It used to be called "delusional," but times change; now it's "distorted self-image.")

Participants ranked the odors from their own mouths, tongues and saliva. Their ratings were then compared to the ratings of an "independent expert." (Who'd want that job? Probably some starving medical student who got suckered into it for a measly pittance.)

The results were about what you would expect: The worriers were likely to think they had halitosis when they didn't, and the non-worriers did not.

Can you believe they use serious medical research funds for this kind of stuff?

In general, the solution to normal, less-than-rosy breath is to water pick your teeth (put an ounce of 3 percent hydrogen peroxide in the water) after breakfast.