The cosmetic surgery line redrawn - again Presto: Virgin by surgeon! I've often wondered where the line would ultimately be drawn in the realm of cosmetic surgery for women (I know, men get it too, but it's still largely women who elect for it). And admittedly, I figured that after facelifts, chemical peels, nose jobs, tummy tucks, breast lifts, boob-jobs, butt implants, lip implants, chin implants, fanny lifts, liposuction, and varicose vein surgery, there just wasn't that much more that could be done to make ladies look and feel more youthful and sexy… But I was wrong, as I often am when I imagine that there are limits to people's vanity. Apparently, the next big thing - more like the final frontier - in cosmetic surgery is, brace yourselves: Vaginoplasty (my word, not the article's). No, I'm not kidding. And I'm sorry if this seems shocking (it is to me), but "cosmetic" surgery to that most intimate of areas is happening at an increasing rate all over the nation, according to a recent Times Online article. I wouldn't even talk about it, except that's it's so mind-bogglingly illustrative of how shallow and superficial we've become that I felt it warrants an alert like this. I mean, cosmetic surgery DOWN THERE? I felt the same way when I heard about penis-enlarging surgery for men (although I wasn't nearly as surprised - go figure). But I digress… What does this craziness entail, exactly? Well, according to surgeons cited in the article, there are several popular options now offered to make a woman's, uh, you know what, more, um, alluring. One of the most popular of these is called hymenoplasty. As you can likely guess, this is a procedure in which the remnants of the hymen (the membrane that bursts, often painfully, during first sexual intercourse) are surgically reformed into a barrier, so that virginity is restored. Technically, anyway. Now, I know what you're thinking: Does anybody really believe that if you simply repair the hymen, you're all of a sudden a virgin again? Apparently, yes. According to the Times article's sources, the procedure is a major hit. One doctor cited in the piece claimed to be performing 10 of the hour-long procedures a month, to the tune of around $5000 each! The American plastic surgery industry has so far not officially licensed any surgeons to perform this "revirginization," but it's surely only a matter of time. As of this writing, the procedure (which was invented by a Beverly Hills cosmetic surgeon 5 years ago) remains an unsanctioned, purely fee-for-service arrangement between doctors offering the procedure and patients willing to accept the liabilities. So who's going for this ridiculous re-floweration? Keep reading… **************************************************** According to the Times piece, the prime demographics for this procedures fall basically into two camps: Younger women for whom the pre-marital loss of virginity portends big trouble in their families or in the families of their grooms-to-be (like strict Muslims), and married 40-somethings who are pushing menopause and want once again to experience defloration - only properly this time, like with their husbands of some years. Some of the women cited for the article described it as wanting to give the man they love the ultimate gift, pain and bleeding and all. To these folks, I say: You're not fooling anyone! You want to give him a gift? Take the 5 grand and book a romantic trip to somewhere you both have always wanted to go… Or just buy him a new truck, or all new tools for his workshop or something. Look, I'm not in the habit of passing judgment on people's love lives, but here's the thing: If love nowadays between two long-time married people is so fragile and malleable that a new pair of breasts, a thinner middle, fewer face-wrinkles or even a technically renewed virginity makes a measurable difference in it, then it's not the kind of love I grew up seeing among my parents and grandparents, aunts, uncles and their friends… In other words, ladies: If you've landed the kind of man that's worth keeping, he ALREADY SEES you every day of your life together as a nubile young virgin bride, regardless of whether you were on your wedding night or not. You're his girl, and to him, you're hot to trot - and badly in need of his own unique brand of sexual education… Not that you can't remind him of this every once in a while when the mood strikes. Focusing on the urgin', not on the virgin, William Campbell Douglass II, MD |
