More nutty news in the New Year Weird, Wild, and Wacky - the mid-winter bonus round! Usually, I try to come out with only one edition of my Weird, Wild and Wacky column per month. But there has been so much nutty news lately that I just have to share it with you - and besides, you readers seem to like the feature so much that this month, I offer you a "bonus" edition. Enjoy… Jail (wind) break Last month, I told you about the plane that had to be grounded for some in-cabin, uh, turbulence. Well, it seems that's not all the wind breaking in the news. According to a recent AP story, an inmate at a Nebraska Lincoln Jail beat up on a fellow jailbird for "singing" a bit too much - from the wrong end! Ironically (or perhaps poetically), the offended offender's fisticuffs may have actually extended his stay in close proximity to his odiferous cellmate. Courts are scheduled to rule in mid-January on whether on not to add time to his sentence for the assault… Rapist of the lifeless gets life? I couldn't make this stuff up, I swear. According to a recent Associated Press article, a Michigan man has broken into so many retail stores over the last 13 years that he now faces a life sentence under "repeat offender" Statutes. But his crime isn't larceny - it's lechery. With MANNEQUINS. Apparently, this 39-year-old recidivist likes his women on the plastic side. In his most recent arrest, he'd been out of jail for less than a week after being released from his last storefront smash-and-grab. Whether or not he'll get to share his cell with the object of his affection remains to be seen… Bullying bosses badmouthed Here's a news flash for you: Bosses aren't always fair. Just like the population in general, a disappointing number of bosses are corrupt, lie, play favorites, and engage in personal abuses. Well, duh! Being unscrupulous is often how people rise to power - whether it's in the corner office or the Oval Office. According to a recent Florida State University study, as many as 40% of bosses routinely tell lies to their workers, and fully one fourth tell lies ABOUT their workers. Of course, a similar survey of bosses cataloguing how many of their employees lie about sick days, use work-time for personal errands, or steal office supplies for their own use has yet to be conducted… [ADS/BLURBS] And here are a few items that have really "gone to the dogs," so to speak: Scents and sensibilities File this in the ever-thickening "needless research" sheaf: A group of what nowadays passes for scientists at the Berkeley campus of the University of California (where else?) have concluded that humans can follow a scent trail, much as a dog can. We're not in the same league as Fido, of course… But apparently, a group of undergraduate students (perhaps fraternity pledges) were able to sniff their way across a field along a meandering, chocolate-scented trail at a pace of about 5 feet per minute. Why this is important to know, the New York Times article on the study did not say. Might government employees soon be groomed to sniff out hidden drugs and airport bombs? More jobs are never a bad thing to the Fools on The Hill… Creature comforts to the extreme? You know I'm all for extending every courtesy to Man's Best Friend, but this is ridiculous: A shi-shi Florida hotel is now offering DOG MASSAGES. For a mere $130, your pug, poodle, or Pekingese can get professionally "pawed" for an hour by a pet masseuse at this Sunshine State spa. But wait - for an extra $220, you can really pamper your pet with the deluxe package: And in-room pet massage, nail buffing or polish (!), a gourmet meal of organic stew and designer water served on a silver platter, and a souvenir portrait. Whether or not a small up-charge can also purchase an hour of psychotherapy for dog owners who shell out for such things is not clear… And that's it, folks. Until the next edition of Weird, Wild, and Wacky - stay laughing. | 
