No April foolin' - people are still foolish Weirdness, Wildness, and Wackiness spring eternal Once again, it's time to take a walk on the wild side of the human condition. And the weird and wacky sides, too. Why? Because spring has sprung, of course - I need no further reason than that. But no matter what season it is, people continue to surprise me with their stupidity, boorishness, and even their courage. Perhaps they'll surprise you, too. Enjoy… Tourist Trap(ped) Don't mess with the U.S., they say. And they're right. Especially when we're on vacation. According to a recent A.P. story, a group of a dozen elderly American tourists who'd taken a bus into the coastal town of Limon while their ship was berthed for the day on a Costa Rican cruise were accosted by several armed muggers. Wrong move. The septuagenarians - which included a retired U.S. military man - got the better of their attackers, KILLING one of them and causing the others to take flight. Authorities did not plan on charging any of the Americans, and their ship departed on time with them on board for their next port of call in Panama. What's ironic is that if this had happened in most any city in America nowadays, these vacationers likely would be charged with multiple crimes simply for defending themselves! "A" For Attorney? How's this for a gutsy "precedent" to set: A Boston-area college student is suing his school, the University of Massachusetts. Not for sexual harassment by a professor. Not for an ethnic slur or off-color joke by the Dean. Not even for subjecting him to a commencement speech by Ted Kennedy (this really should be grounds for suit). No, he's suing because he isn't happy with his grade! According to a recent Reuters article, the 50-year-old former legal assistant claims that a teacher's aide arbitrarily re-indexed the class' grading scale, in the process demoting his 92.1% - which clearly should have been an "A" - to a "C." This, he claims, has hurt his chances of getting into LAW SCHOOL. If you ask me, it's the perfect proof of his qualifications for entrance into any American academy of legal studies, where all he'll learn is how to file and prosecute frivolous lawsuits anyway! And what would a Weird, Wild and Wacky edition be without a few items about the "flesh trade?" "I'll see your donkey, and raise you a daughter!" We're not hearing so much about how women are oppressed in the Middle East, now that the political and pop culture trend in this country is toward withdrawing from Iraq (don't get me wrong - I don't think we should be there, either). But if you still think the Islamic world wouldn't benefit from an infusion of Democratic sensibilities… Have you heard about the Pakistani girl who was nearly forced into an arranged marriage as part of a 16-year-old poker debt? An AP article reports that the adolescent girl's father (now deceased) had wagered her in lieu of the currency equivalent of $165. Now that she's 17, tribal elders and the family of the man who won the long-ago wager came calling to collect the girl - as a bride for his 23-year-old son. The girl's fate remains uncertain, as Pakistani police are investigating… Thank God this kind of thing doesn't happen in the U.S. Or does it? Diapered Deposit = Deportation? Not that some people aren't trying. Take, for instance, the three people who came into the U.S. from Mexico, but failed to grasp a few basic truths of "Americanism." Like, for example, that we don't use INFANTS as money… According to a February 28th Associated Press story, a 23-year-old woman brokered a 5-month-old baby (the article didn't say whether the child was her own) to a Colorado couple as a down payment on a used Dodge Intrepid. Now, all three of these Mexican nationals are in police custody - and the baby in a foster home - as their immigration status is being investigated by the Feds. Whether or not the woman will get to drive her new car back over the Mexican border if she's deported is not clear… | 
